Monday, February 27, 2006
when night falls, vulnerability sets in.perhaps life would be better if you hadn't appeared.Baby, stop the rainWon't you chase my clouds away?I'd give anything to see the sun againOnly you can stop these tears of mine from fallingI can't face another dayBaby, can you stopCan you, can you stop the rain...it's overwhelming.I'm sorry if you can't love me the way you loved the one before me, so I'll let you go...i'll be finesoon.....
take me with you
7:12 PM
Sunday, February 26, 2006
what exactly does a cute smile means?
oh well.
its a compliment anyhow.
met michael at the airport just now.
and he said he misses the times we'd spent in the past.
i'm not only touched by this.
but because he said he wants to be my guardian angel, though i dont exactly understand what it means.
still, i'm glad he's my friend (:
linus's coming back from thailand on friday!
it's been a month since he's been away.
a month's time isnt long.
but long enough for awful things to take place.
so anyway, hopefully we'd be able to meet up soon.
feel kind of guilty for not being able to make it many times in the past before he left for thailand.
provided i survive the aftermath of the releasing of results.
yesterday was crazy!
the 4 of us actually went for kelly's autograph session!
ok actually it was only angela and i.
pl and yf entertained themselves while we were like crazy fans queuing for her autograph.
i'm not like those youngsters who would actually start to queue hours before such sessions.
and i'm not crazy over any celebrities/singers.
except for RAIN of course.
i would probably go weak in my knees if he's just 100m away from me.
wouldnt wash my hand for 1 month should we have a handshake, maybe longer.
hahaha.
no kidding!
so yap, we actually felt embarrassed.
dont ask me why.
being with them makes me feel as though i'm trouble-free.
not because they've more problems than me but rather, i do not think of those when i'm with them.
we embarrass ourselves many times by doing unglam things and laughing ourselves silly.
angela was at it again.
we actually ran after a bus ungraciously by cutting through those bushes at orchard.
something which i wouldnt do when i'm alone!
and laughing so loudly in the bus that the person in front of us kept turning back and giving us a hard stare.
hahaha.
hopefully we'd get our taiwan trip confirmed soon.
ah.
hope all of us do ok(if not, well) for the a levels.
/prays real hard
if we didnt do anything on impulse, maybe we'd be happier now.
i know i would.
because i kind of miss the times when we used to talk about everything under the sun.
it was genuine.
or so i thought.
but now, it has all ended.
i really hate liars.
and i didnt expect you to be one.
you said you knew what it feels like being a substitute and that its awful.
then why did you do it?
i'm speechless. really.
what was i to you?
nevermind, it doesnt matter anymore now.
you do appreciate love above any other things.
but you did not appreciate me.alright
time to quit bitchin' and get on with life.
take me with you
4:48 PM
Saturday, February 25, 2006
sarang haeyo
take me with you
9:58 PM
what the hell is this.
i'm exhausted but i cant get to sleep.
all i know is that i'm feeling weak inside.
Parmesh asked why i always look so happy and wont quit smiling.
what he doesnt know is that deep inside i feel horrid.
so tell me now, how am i supposed to react?
i may have gone through something worst than this
but that doesnt mean i'd know how to cope when shit happens.
everything seems to be going wrong.
its tiring when you've to keep telling yourself that tomorrow would be a better day
when you know its apparent crap.
i was embraced safely in my own world.
away from pain and sorrow.
but when you came along, i was persuaded out of that sorrow-proof shell.
you made me believe you.
but hey, why did you have to do this.
i feel so destroyed.
just when i thought i'm able to trust someone once again,
just when i thought life's finally gonna get better.
comforting words are redundant.
so safe it.
i dont need any sympathy.
i'm not even asking for your love.
all i'm asking for is a lil respect.
is this too much?
i definitely wont keep a person whose heart isnt with me.
so, leave.
we'd be happier this way.
you're not The One afterall.
i was right all along.
i wont hate you.
its too taxing.
i just want you out of my life.
you've done enough corruption.
i wont end my life.
you arent worth it.
i would be happy again, even without you.
meanwhile, allow me to feel weak.
take me with you
1:36 AM
Friday, February 24, 2006
its not very nice to receive messages saying that results would be released on next wednesday when you're in dreamland.
arghhhh.
i'm probably gonna sink into depression pretty soon.
direction-less.
it was a mistake right from the start...laughing at how gullible i can be...crying at my sheer stupidity...just when i thought i could believe...but no.how many god damn times must this happen?to think that i actually wanted to put in so much effort...when is life ever gonna get better...where's The One...
take me with you
2:57 PM
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
just because i've started talking to you doesnt mean that i'm willing to accept all your requests and that i'd have to meet you.
just because my life's in an inextricable mess doesnt mean that i'm gonna rely on anyone who comes along.
i'm not soneone who would accept anyone just because i need someone by my side or because i'm lonely.
and i've said before, its not because i'm taken or that i'm single but its because i cant bring you your desired happiness.
you were my everything.
my life revolved around you.
so much so that i didnt even bother about my family or my close friends.
something which i'm just aware of after adeline's complain lately.
but thats all in the past.
we'd our happy moments, didnt we?
and i'm someone who doesnt really believe in patch ups, depending highly on the reason of the break ups.
and in our case, i'm sure that i'd never feel for you again.
so with regards to your question last night, the apparent answer is a no.
it's nobody's fault when a person loves someone.
and i've never blamed you when you said you still loved eunice.
this is something i reckon you didnt know.
i may be the one for you but you're not the one for me.
in essence, you're not the one who's able to bring back my genuine laughter.
let go of the past.
and me.
take me with you
3:58 PM
an angel being surrounded by 2 devils.
hahaha.
take me with you
3:09 PM
min. my love (:
take me with you
12:54 PM
my princess and i (:
take me with you
12:37 PM
zhen and i. she's only 14 but way taller than me. she's playful but still a darling.
take me with you
12:35 PM
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
I know that when you look at meThere's so much that you just don't seeBut if you would only take the timeI know in my heart you'd findOh, a girl who's scared sometimesWho isn't always strongCan't you see the hurt in me?I feel so all aloneI wanna run to youWon't you hold me in your armsAnd keep me safe from harm?I wanna run to youBut if I come to youTell me, will you stayOr will you run away?Each day I play the roleOf someone always in controlBut at night I come home and turn the keyThere's nobody there, no one cares for meOh, what's the senseOf trying hard to find your dreamsWithout someone to share it withTell me what this meansI need ya hereI need ya here to wipe away my tearsTo kiss away my fearsIf you only knew how much...
take me with you
6:35 PM
Monday, February 20, 2006
talking to leonard helps.
as usual.
haha.
and dino is irritatingly cute!
i cant stand that clock!
zzz
i'm really exhausted.
and its not coming from work.
in fact, i kind of enjoying working there with everyone including the polar peeps and siti.
sara isnt inclusive please.
i'm emotionally exhausted.
with thousand of things running through my mind constantly, i'm breaking down.
if justin isnt having his papers tomorrow, we would be at katong now.
drowning the sorrows away.
take me with you
9:39 PM
Saturday, February 18, 2006
to you:
its not very appropriate saying those things you've said earlier on
knowing that you still care, that you want the best for me
makes me feel pathetic inside out.
i'm thankful that you're still willing to hear me out.
and i hope you'll find you own happiness too.
but i'm sorry, it wont be me.
and it has nothing to do with whether i'm taken or not.
but simply because i cant.
**********************************************************************
my pupil magnifies into a sudden blurrythe salty drops that wets the taste budsmy starvation to feel emomy desire to cry in depression I am desperate in finding back my genuine laughteri'm exhausted.physically and emotionally.someone help me.
take me with you
10:48 PM
Sunday, February 12, 2006
everyone has been fooled by her cheerful exterior.
and in front of us, he communicates laconically.
yet behind that clandestine life of hers, deep down she's distraught and unhinged.
and even cries herself to sleep at times.
we werent particularly against him right from the start.
just merely taken aback by her choice.
and i dare say, that my girlfriend is close to perfect.
she certainly doesnt deserve such tormenting treatments from him.
in fact, she's too good for him.
in many ways.
we cant decide whether she should continue.
but girl, he doesnt cherish you.
he may have given you the sweetest memories one could possibly give.
but the heartaches he's caused,
the pain he's inflicted,
the lies he's made,
makes me wanna give him a tight slap.
no, many tight slaps.
he lied because he knew what he did would upset you.
but why do it in the first place when he knows you're gonna be upset?
what the hell is he thinking about?
too conceited.
please girl, make a wise choice.
no matter what it is, we'll give you our blessings.
we want you to be happy.
behind every smile, there would be tears.
take me with you
2:21 PM
Saturday, February 11, 2006
this is paradise. memories would always be etched. you people are here to stay.
take me with you
7:25 PM
he may be an irritant 24/7 but still a friend whom i cherish deep down.
take me with you
7:19 PM
ah teong, bestie and cqr. happy moments.
take me with you
7:18 PM
the smile on our faces speak for themselves.
take me with you
7:16 PM
they are part of the reason why life is beautiful.BR>
take me with you
7:09 PM
me and gayber
take me with you
7:05 PM
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
wish i could alleviate all the physical pain you're suffering now.
get well soon baby.
and before he recovers, it's revenge time!
hoho.
am going for a chocolate buffet with the squashers next week!
o3 and o4 squashers!
this is heaven man.
hehahohehaho
(((:
tried very hard to ignore the apparent awkward feeling this morning while working with glenn.
but am glad that things seemed normal.
sales was terrible!
but still, who cares.
definitely not me.
haha.
tried iced chocolate using HL milk and it certainly tastes weird.
had 'free' sandwich which glenn made (after countless arguments) with extra toppings.
but it was disgusting and apparently only i thought so.
and jason, our supervisor who couldnt get to sleep this morning after his midnight shift called and talked crap.
he's crazy.
just received his call again just now complaining about our boss.
hahaha.
the boss is so screwed.
no capabilities.
zzz.
and jason is damn pissed off.
and the way he complained was hilarious. totally.
hoho.
stupid lionel.
bet no one's as thick-skinned as him.
he actually asked for his valentine cum friendship day present.
evil.
alright the eye bags are out.
needa catch on my beauty sleep.
i miss my boy (:
take me with you
10:42 PM
i like working midnight with michelle and shiwei.
haha.
now that jason's leaving, things might not be the same with sara around.
as usual we talked alot last night.
apart from listening to corny stories, we discussed some random stuffs.
and michelle is totally adorable.
haa.
talked about jason's relationships.
it feels really different talking about them with a 26 year old guy who has been through so much.
so complicated. so helpless. so depressing.
so anyway, met my sis and bro-in-law for dinner last night.
at ssc again.
zzz.
and my sis's credit card bill for jan was a whopping 8.8k!
hoho.
spendthrift.
dont worry it doesnt run in the family.
went to send my mum off at 515am this morning.
and its really scary walking from t1 to t2 and back again at that time when the surrounding's pitch dark and quiet.
zzzzzzzzz.
i'm so so tired.
take me with you
1:05 PM
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Rain : I Do
Feeling each other, knowing each other
I hope that maybe one day we’ll say “I do.”
I want to say in front of our friends
That we are more than just friends
That we will be together forever, “I Do.”
And I, I want to know
If I’m the only one feeling this way
Or if you also dream of us being together forever.
I do, I do.
I want to be with you forever, I do.
Whenever I’m with you
I think to my self I do, I do.
I want to spend my life with you,
I dream of us together, I do.
And when I finally say I do,
I hope I’m by your side
And you by my side.
Holding hands, walking side by side
Do you also feel that we belong together forever
And I, I need to know
If I’m the only one feeling this way
Or if you also dream of us being together forever.
I do, I do.
I want to be with you forever, I do.
Whenever I’m with you
I think to my self I do, I do.
I want to spend my life with you,
I dream of us together, I do.
And when I finally say I do,
I hope I’m by your side
And you by my side.
Our love is new
And it’s too early to tell
But I can’t help but dream, I do
I do, I do
I can’t help but dream, I do.
take me with you
4:25 PM
nothing but trouble.fuck it la.i've had enough.just god damn leave me alone.
take me with you
4:14 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA!
hoho.
this girl is a darling.
thanks for being there when i needed someone.
though your advices suck.
hahahaha.
still, you're someone whom i really cherish.
miss ya so much.
=)
never ever go kbox with justin.
firstly, he totally spoils almost every song.
sad songs would become comical songs.
and it doesnt take an idiot to realise that he gets to sing all the songs he wants without having to wait.
he's simply into ejecting songs halfway through when you're singing.
sucha bastard huh.
haha.
still, i'm so into them.
and its really really great talking to teong again.
havent spoken to her for like 3years!
reunited.
yay.
hey thanks for listening to all my whinings.
though your advices make me confuse.
they always do, by the way.
haha.
but i'm still grateful.
didnt know how much i've been bottling up.
now that there's someone whom i trust who knows about it,
it feels as though something heavy has been lifted off.
anyway, you're one in a million
and thanks for everything.
no idea whats life gonna be without you people.
sorry ah, for all the misdeeds i've done to you.
i treasure you.
i really do
=]
take me with you
11:05 AM
Friday, February 03, 2006
HAPPY BIRHTHDAY ADELINE!
13years of friendship.
classmates for 10years.
totally amazing.
call me a busybody, but i wanna be there to share your joy and sorrows.
you're here to stay.
=]
love ya, babe.
take me with you
10:48 AM
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
so its a new year!
happy new year and here are my blessings to all (:
as usual cny was spent at my granny's place in malaysia.
having the house to myself most of the time back here, it sure feels weird living with so many relatives under the same roof during this particular period every year.
the place is so packed that...
during the reunion dinner, 2 huge round tables werent sufficient.
so some had to stand and eat while some 'hopped-table'.
ha..
and it sucks when its bathing time.
you really gotta quene up!
and some would go over to my uncle's place instead.
3 of my other uncles are like neighbours.
kinda cool.
and its like you'd get to another relative's house through another's backdoor.
hoho.
and no, its not a HDB flat we're talking about here.
and im dying from sleep starvation.
in the morning my aunties would start yakking away so loudly that it was impossible to catch a wink when you were woken up by their loud voices.
in the afternoon, i was literally tortured by the little ones.
although lingling is 12 this year, she wanted me to piggy back her most of the time.
and another cousin minmin would start going against lingling.
so its like... one was pulling my left arm and the other my right arm.
you get the idea? zzz.
and my 2 other cousins weizhen and ahbee... they're totally big bullies.
one kept teasing me about my atrocious mandarin and the other... just wouldnt quit torturing me.
grrrr.
so yeah. the little ones kept me occupied most of the time.
they were like super glue.
but so so adorable.
and i miss them :(
and when it was bed time, the sound of people playing mahjong would keep you wide awake.
not just the adults but my cousins who're so into it.
/shakes head.
had a talk with charlie about his past relationship.
kinda saddening.
behind the brave front he's putting on, sorrow pierce through his eyes.
and huixian told me about her studies at ACCA which is a total turn-off. and she actually had derrick's number ages ago!
she actually knew him!
but has already deleted his number and is now regretting.
hahaha.
anyway we completed this ou xiang ju of 15hrs++ in just 2 days!
c'mon we're pro right.
hahaha.
i'm highly amused at the number of unknown relatives i meet every year.
all of a sudden i've so many cousins and nephews i've never seen before.
cool.
so although it wasnt a truly exciting stay, i love every moment of it.
it feels great being surrounded by people related to you, in one way or another.
on the way back from ang mo kio, we passed by a place.so familiar.and my mind was flooded with memories.bitter and sweet ones.after visiting 2 other maternal relatives when we reached home yesterday, met up with justin and gabe at fishermans village.
xueling and her bf pangseh-ed us, expectedly.
haha.
and no, i dont wanna be their drinking partner.
dont wanna put my liver at stake.
try telling them that!
grrrr.
justin sang the english version of "tong hua".
was really hilarious!
gabe and i(was me most of the time actually) ruined the supposedly romantic atmosphere by laughing too loudly.
hoho.
talked about lotsa stuff.
relationships, justin's gruesome experiences and i cant remember what else.
both justin and gabe have totally opposite mindsets.
but weirdly, they still get along pretty well.
6yrs of friendship.
really missed those days back in sec school.
their advices do make sense.
but its easier said than done.
ah. am working the midnight shift later.
gonna get suaned by jason again!
@$&%&*$@once again, happy chinese new year to all! may everyone be blessed with good health, fortune and happiness.
peace. (:
i'm fucking tired of explaining and reasoning with you that i dont give a bloody damn anymore.
i thought i've said things lucidly to you aeons ago regarding us.
but now i know that whatever i say wouldnt make a difference.
if possible i would wanna alleviate the pain that i've inflicted.
afterall i've no ill-intents of hurting anyone.
and i dont wanna be the one obstructing you from pursuing your own happiness.
but you're making things difficult for both of us.
i feel suffocated.
why are you tormenting us.
you know i dont wanna hurt you.
but its inevitable.
i've no idea what to say to you anymore.
just that i'm sick of everything(and you're well aware of it)
what i can say is, no miracles would ever happen between us.
waiting would only lead to desolation.
but i know you're persistent.
there's nothing i can do.
really.
all i hope for is for you to find your own happiness and leave me alone.
we had a past.
wasnt that a chance given already.
i'm not only irritated.
but helpless.you never lose by loving. you always lose by holding back.really?
take me with you
4:29 PM
